


in a size for all

by futile_devices



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Soen no Kiseki/Akatsuki no Megami | Fire Emblem Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn
Genre: About to Die, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Pining, Unrequited Love, anonymoose if youre still here this is for you, anyway, as always, half confession kinda ??, i meant to finish this in like februrary and i just never did, im so sorry, implied zelgius/lehran, its really veiled, tower of guidance stuff, yes im still using size too small
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-16 05:57:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18685510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/futile_devices/pseuds/futile_devices
Summary: however miniscule, something within zelgius catches, breaks, scatters into little pieces. “i am not deserving of your loyalty, levail.” whatever draws out the honesty, closes the second moment after. that is all he is strong enough to reveal. not worthy of his sacrifice that he does not know in full what he gives. he is not worthy of his life, so freely given.but when has that ever mattered?“you are, general.” and perhaps that could speak for everything else. perhaps everything else already had. even if he could never believe that.





	in a size for all

**Author's Note:**

> at some point i should put capitalization back on. im so sorry levail. everytime i go through levails boss quotes i lose my shit at oliver saying that with dedication, levail could be like him, and levail just going. no thank you. thats my favorite thing, other than sephi saying that oliver proves the world is gone to shit. the other thing is that whenever i go through then i have to look at the sephiran ones, and i always hit with an immeasurable amount of love for him.

 

_“General…Zelgius… I’d hoped…to fight for you… …a while longer…”_

 

isnt that always what he had wanted? another moment, another lifetime where perhaps it did not have to end up like this. that is a hope levail must carry in his heart, for however much longer it beats. nothing more, if his life and the world could be so simple that he only wished to give it to one. the one he gladly takes a lance through his chest for. if he should have one regret, it is that they could not have lived in that lifetime, in that together.

 

but what would that be worth. in a life without war, what sun would embrace his general then? the world he was to make, the empire he was to reform with a just hand, if that were to simply fall away, what would be left? but levail could always see beyond that, he thought. a better life, not simply another chance, but one they could take. (one, perhaps, levail wishes, where he could speak of loyalty on another line, another frequency. that one of truth beyond what is required of their stations)

 

of happiness, of joy, the sorts of things he would assume a man like him would be rife with. the kind that is gentle and smooth, unjudging and unconditional.

 

(even if zelgius has only known genuine and unconditional care by the song of a dove. even if it is a constant thought in his mind that it should have never been heard by him)

 

name levail a fool, then, for imagining such peace at the precipice of destruction. even if it was never told to him, the plan never revealed because it hung too heavily in the hearts of those who carried it through for nearly two decades. all he is, is a soldier. levail of gaddos, knight and friend, but never to rise above those heights. he had never wished for gold or glory, though. it does him no gain, no flush to his countenance. if he knew, what then? if his so beloved general were to have told him all the little and large secrets he holds, what then?

 

unjudging and unconditional? is that the line that levail draws from his heart?

 

but what would there be for him to judge, what conditions would that honorable general fall under? the crimes of being a just man, a worthy warrior, or an inspiring leader? but the faults are always easier to prove, the faults need no proof for an instant verdict. levail had so searched for honor, for justice, for some gentle or bold breeze to sweep across begnion, cleansing it of its troubles and affects. but levail had found none. even in haar or shiharam, who left on their own gale, levail could not find it well enough. how could levail blame or hate or distrust the man in whom he found the impossible?

 

 _“lieutenant, i am not forcing you to stand here”_ the fact that he stood at all perhaps proved that he was better suited to serve in the forces that were about to storm the tower, not defend it.

 

 _“i know, general.”_ is all levail speaks of, a promise despite it all. a loyalty that zelgius sees in himself, and wishes he didn’t, because what then? what did that make the both of them? sentimental knights who only wished to stand at the side of their masters? men who would die for causes that were never inherently theirs, but choose regardless? foolish little boys who didn’t want to be alone, who could see such brightness in another and only longed to be in its wake for one moment longer.

 

(waiting. waiting. waiting. to what end, that is the different line)

 

 _“it will not be an easy fight. you would command the disciples, as i have… another duty”_ there’s a plea somewhere, hidden, that he would not be responsible for some other death, and not any other one, but the death of a good man, an honorable man, the kind of man that both zelgius and levail long gave up on believing in. but levail is. more than his general. a loss to begnion, surely, more so than zelgius’s because his heart and life had never been to the empire. but now, more than ever, could the same not be said of levail as well? the difference, however, is written in innocence, and levail is guilty of nothing. not as zelgius is. not of anything worse than simply following.

 

but levail is steadfast. he is unmoving. the world could drown him in a world of doubt, but levail would still draw breath in belief of his general.

 

( _‘i swear upon the general’s good name that he would do no such thing.’ ‘yes. he is the last true knight. i will die for him.’ ‘i fight for general zelgius. i care not for the goddess’s cause.’ ‘as strong as your loyalty is for the apostle, so is mine for general zelgius.’_ )

 

“ _gen_ \- _zelgius_ .” levail begins. there’s a distant howling of the wind that tells of his fate, however faint. that would change nothing. the best men lay their life down for what they love. the most content men lay their life for what they love, for they would have no regrets other than what they cannot control. levail cannot say that all of his life had been just or favorable, but if his last breath be given for the most important, then it is right (even if his most important cannot bear to reveal the truth of what levail should die for, but even if he did, it would never be for a goddess or a mute songbird. perhaps zelgius merely does not want to be put to that fact, that high pedestal, when he knows, too, what will await him.) “ _if that is what your orders are, then i will fulfill them with pride. i am yours-_ ” he has never spoken anything so truthfully, even for an honest man who has lied so very little. _“-to command.”_

 

but honesty, is that it could be called? speaking of a short phrase, simple and dutiful, that he says in a different cadence? is that truthful more than selfish? but it is all he has, he knows, and if the wind is a more honest speaker than he is and if he wishes to die that good and content man, well, then that is his defense.

 

however miniscule, something within zelgius catches, breaks, scatters into little pieces. _“i am not deserving of your loyalty, levail.”_ whatever draws out the honesty, closes the second moment after. that is all he is strong enough to reveal. not worthy of his sacrifice that he does not know in full what he gives. he is not worthy of his life, so freely given.

 

but when has that ever mattered?

 

 _“you are, general.”_ and perhaps that could speak for everything else. perhaps everything else already had. even if he could never believe that.

 

the air cools.

 

 _“grab your weapon, lieutenant.”_ it is nearly apologetic, it is nearly weak. it is vulnerable.

 

and the doors open.

 


End file.
